"I don't like to badmouth anybody, but she is an evil lying troll who takes pleasure in the misery of others and if life was fair, she and her tacky teddy-bear accessories would perish on the burning rocks of hell. But that might just be me." -Laurie

"Aren't you here a little early, Kyra? You usually don't get attractive 'till last call." -Kyra

"She had a large piece of steak, you see, lodged deep down in her fallopian tubes, there. I Heimliched her, then everything was all right." -Norm
"Oh my God, you're the dumbest man I've ever met."

"Yank me." -Norm
"You wish." -Kyra
"No, YOU wish." -Norm
"No, YOU wish." -Kyra
"No, YOU wish." -Norm
"No, YOU wish." -Kyra
"No, YOU wish." -Norm
"No, YOU wish." -Kyra
"Oh, I didn't see that one coming." -Norm

"You wicked witch flying devil monkey!" -Laurie

"That's very sweet and clever and, uh, creepy." -Norm

Teleplay by Cheryl Holliday & Frank Sebastiano, Story by Bruce Rasmussen, Directed by Pamela Fryman

Special Guest Star Vicki Lewis as Kyra. Guest starring Allan Wasserman as Fred, Cynthia Szigeti as Diane, Andy Siegel as Joey. Co-starring Meredyth Hunt as Shelly.