Written by Frank Sebastiano, Directed by Tommy Thompson

Special guest star Richard Pryor as Mr. Johnson

Guest starring Art LaFleur as Mac, Damien Wayans as Shawn, Tichina Arnold as Mrs. Murphy, Lockey Bevis as Nicole, Ernie Hudson Jr. as clerk

Co-starring Chandra Galasso as Mrs. Cordell

"It's Johnson. He's a fake. He's been faking us the whole time. Yeah, look, he can stand." (trying to pick up Johnson out of his chair) -Norm
"What are you doing?!" -Mr. Denby
"He's faking us, he's not a criplle at all, look, look, he's a..." (drops Johnson) -Norm
"A rich cripple." -Johnson

"He reminds me of me when I was boxing." -Artie
"Yeah, he's just like you except he doesn't get winded climbing through the ropes." -Norm

"You could forget about my 10,000 debt and I could cut you in for 50%." -Norm
"I want the whole thing." -Mac
"Right, 50% of 200%, or, in less colorful language, the whole thing." -Norm

"You're just doing it for yourself." -Laurie
"Well, what difference does that make? If a guy's choking and you Heimlich him because he's making an annoying noise, you still save his life." -Norm

"Let me tell you something about women, all right. They're just as afraid of you as you are of them. No wait, that's snakes!" -Norm

"I'm ripping up your marker right now." -Mac
"Aw, Mac, you're a good man. I mean, you're not a good man, but you're a bad man that I don't owe any money to." -Norm

"You know it's a whole lot easier to do a report on Iraq after you bombed it?" -Shawn

"Well how about this for an idea, huh? I tell her that you're gonna go to a prom with a fifteen-year-old girl and then she twists your private parts into balloon animals. Not cool balloon animals either, but probably like a poodle or something like that." -Norm