Written by Dave Caplan, Directed by Sam Simon

Guest starring Faith Ford as Shelly Kilmartin

"You're a worthy adversary. We will meet again. Y'know, providing I survive the series of skin grafts and years of physical therapy." -Norm

"Hey, Shelly." -Norm
"Hi, Norm." -Shelly
"Hey, you wanna get married?" -Norm
"Still no." -Shelly
"Y'know, Norm, you're a lot like Evil Kneivel. Half the fun is watching you crash and burn." -Taylor

"My brother speaks of you with such respect and admiration. I really think you're helpin' him. That oughta get you some." -Artie
"Only if you're gonna give it to him." -Shelly

"Artie, you're like a big Santa! Not because you're fat." -Laurie

"Hey, what's that?" -Artie
"Hey.... That's my weiner dog. Oh, this guy's super smart." -Norm
"I can tell. He tricked you into thinking he's an appropriate pet for a grown man." -Artie

"You know how long Danny's gonna last in prison?" -Norm to Artie