Written by Steve Gabriel, Directed by Gary Halvorson

Special guest star Janet Carroll as Martha

Guest starring Louis Dante Giovannetti as Jack, and Garry Marshall as Big Nick

Co-starring Randall Carver as guard, Gonzo Raymond as dangerous guy, Bruce Dworkin as Tony, Lyle Kanouse as scary guy, Myrna Niles as nun, Rocky McMurray as Grizzly, Paul Taylor as moderator

"Just a little warning: before I fly off into one of my violent rages, I sometims cry like a baby. So if you see me in the corner weeping, just BACK OFF!" -Artie

"Good God, woman, would you have some children and let me live a life here?!" -Norm to Laurie

"Did you take your estrogen today, dear?" -Mr. Denby
"With or without it I'm still more of a man than you." -Martha Denby

"There are plenty of people who watch sports and do not bet. They're called women." -Big Nick

"Welcome to the free-wheeling joy-ride that is civil service." -Mr. Denby