Quotes from Norm Pimps Wiener Dog

"Now, if I was seven years old, would you let me watch this show?" -Norm
"Good lord, no. It has sex and bad language. You have a dirty show." -Norm's mom
"Would you let me watch 'Mary Poppins?'" -Norm
"No. It's dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty!" -Norm's mom
"So, if you like dirty, this is the show for you." -Norm

"You can't keep giving me gifts, Norm. I'm your probation officer. I'm not supposed to take anything from you that's not in a specimen bottle." -Shelly

"I guess I could make payments of about $200 a week. I could pay more if only my weiner dog would have sex faster." -Norm
"I hear a lot of that." -salesman

"Norm, could Jimmy use your bathroom? The bulimic support group just took a snack break, and ours is all jammed up." -Shelly

"Oh, Norm, it's the same old story. Boy meets girl. Boy uses child to get girl. Dog stops having sex. It's almost a cliché." -Laurie

Back to episode info