Quotes from Norm vs. the Kid

Shelly: It's not that we don't trust you, Norm, we just don't trust you with anything that, y'know, could die.

Laurie: We don't want the kids to know that I'm trying to find a family who's going to take all of them together because we don't want to get their hopes up.
Norm: Oh, no, you wouldn't want that, orphans with hope.

Edwin: I like the shape of your skull.
Mr. Denby: Yeah, if I had a dime for every time I heard that, I guess... I'd have a dime.

Billy: How's that hockey come back going?
Norm: A lot like your diet.

Shelly: He has a problem with authority figures, and we thought we'd give you a shot with him because, well, you have absolutely no authority whatsoever.

Norm: I'd wash his mouth out with soap but I'm a little afraid of losing a finger.

Artie: There's an article in this magazine that says kids need structure.
Norm: Structure, oh, that sounds good. They talking about some sort of cage?

Shelly: You know, pretending to be asleep makes God angry.

Norm: Fatherhood really fits me. As a matter of fact, if I'd known this years ago I would've been making babies all over the place.

Edwin: I'm Edwin and I like rainbows.

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