Quotes from Norm vs. Freud

Danny: You know, my dead gay dad left me some money...

Shelly: Did you guys get the memo about all the departments having to go to group therapy?
Danny: Yep, we're going, and we're betting to see who's gonna cry first. My money's on me.

Shelly: You have an obsession with picking on Denby.
Norm: Well, you call it an obsession, I call it a commitment to excellence.

Norm: I couldn't ask him that, y'know, that'd be a sign of weakness. Yeah, if we were dogs, that would entitle him to mount me.

Denby: The problem with our relationship as I see it is this: I'm basically a very good man and he's the bastard spawn of a jackal.

Denby: Oh, my children worship the ground I walk on... except for my youngest and I'm not sure he's mine anyway.

Shelly: Norm, you have done things I never thought you would do. I must be incredibly hot.

Denby: You are not my son.
Norm: You are not my father. I want to smash your head in with a phone.
Denby: I'd like to fill your head with fire ants.

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