Quotes from Norm is Fat

Shelly: Norm, what happened?
Norm: Heh? Oh, I got a new shirt. You like it?
Shelly: Yeah.
Norm: Heh heh. Plus, I'm a big fat guy now.

Norm: Whoever heard of anybody cleaning the bathtub? You put soap and water in there every day.

Norm: You gotta allow me some artistic license here, otherwise it's just a story about me gettin' fat.

Artie: It's the weirdest thing, since I've lost the weight I don't look fat anymore.

Norm: A couple of nights later, Laurie woke up and discovered she had been sleep walking.
Shelly: God, if that happened to me I'd tie my foot to the bed... then I'd throw my bed off the roof.

Artie: Whenever things weren't going that good for me, I used to like a little treat.
Norm: Oh yeah? Well, I see what you mean. With every creamy spongey bite my problems get littler and littler.

Laurie: According to the gentleman on the stoop we could have gotten you a small child if we'd had a rock of crack.
Artie: Don't fall for it, it's a trick. You buy one of those kids, they're trained to run right back home.

Laurie: The weirdest thing happened to me the other night.
Danny: I'm watching a giant rat trying to open the refrigerator. Is it weirder than that?

Laurie: Norm, how are you?
Norm: I'm fat, how are you?

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