Quotes from Norm vs. Deception

Norm: Maybe Laurie is not quite in my league but she is here and I don't like to travel.

Mr. Denby: Look, I don't want to catch your cold, I've got a very expensive senior ski vacation coming up. There's gonna be a lot of hot older women on the slopes and I look very attractive when I'm going by very quickly.
Laurie: You might try the same thing during sex, sir.

Norm: Laurie, did you see that? Lee is upset that you're going out with me.
Laurie: Well, duh, I'm upset I'm going out with you.

Mr. Denby: I'm not gonna shake your hand! You're stuffed full of germs like a virus piñata.

Laurie: Oh, honey, you'd be so proud. I just did three shots in forty-five seconds.

Norm: Laurie, you must admit, you come off a bit of a whore in this whole thing.

Shelly: Did you really think we could have a long-term relationship based on a lie?
Norm: Oh, you betcha.

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