Quotes from Norm vs. Halloween

Girl: We can't go trick or treating anymore 'cause last year our neighborhood got kinda dangerous.
Norm: Well, it's always been like that. Hey, when I was a kid my parents were always worried about the hooligans with their shaving cream and their water balloons, so forth....
Boy: Somebody blew up a car.
Norm: Good lord! Blew up a car? It's not like the Knicks won the championship or anything.

Norm: How about I take you out for Halloween trick or treating? How'd that be, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, I know a rich neighborhood we can go to. Oh my God, last year I went, they have big candy, huge. Last year I got a Crackerjack box that had a Buick LeSabre in it.

Norm: Shelly, listen, are you free on Saturday night?
Shelly: No.
Norm: May I take that as a yes?
Shelly: No!
Norm: May I take that as a yes?

Norm: Hey, listen, Laurie, maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know that old saying, huh? If you don't look for love, love will find you.
Laurie: No, when I stop looking for love the only thing that finds me is a depression that makes me stop grooming myself.

Shelly: I'm gonna be running all over town doing errands for the probation officers' Halloween beer bash.
Laurie: Oh, nothing more fun than underpaid drunks with guns.

Laurie: I need to call Gene Simmons and tell him in twenty years he should hang himself.

Norm: Trick or treating is a lot like dating: you have to hit on a lot of doors before you get some candy.

Debbie: I didn't put you in a frumpy bald-guy costume, God did.

Nurse: I don't have a penis. Why would I have a penis? You have a penis.
Laurie: I don't have a penis. Oh my God, this is like a bad children's book.

Norm: Hey, Shelly! Shelly, don't forget that old saying about firemen. Don't be such a huge whore!

Danny: Welcome to the couch of despair.

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