Quotes from Norm vs. Tennis

Laurie: I'm playing tennis with Shelly.
Norm: You're playing tennis with Shelly?
Laurie: Yeah.
Norm: Hey, I have an idea that would even be more fun for you. If I play tennis with Shelly while you... I don't know what you do. Who cares?

Norm: Hey, Artie, what you have in the way of single guys in here? I need someone for Laurie.
Artie: Y'know, I think she'd do a lot better around closing time.

Norm: A friend is only a stranger you've never had sex with.

Laurie: Now, listen, you're really a doctor right, you're not just pretending? Oh, who cares?

Laurie: You know those really shallow women who as soon as they meet a guy they bail on all their female friends?
Shelly: Yeah.
Laurie: It turns out that I'm one of those.

Norm: In the neighborhood I grew up in you know what they called gentlemen like that? Ladies.

Artie: It seems, Laur, that I'm a little overweight due to this genetic disorder that makes fried chicken delicious.

Shelly to Norm: Losing looks pretty good on you, handsome.

Shelly: I AM hot.
Norm: That's what I'm counting on.

Danny: Dinner may lead to sex, Norm, but you better beat her to the orgasm or she's gonna gloat all night.

Norm: Laurie, why don't you wait until she falls in love with me and then you can hit her with your car or something.

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