Quotes from Norm vs. Homelessness

Norm: Remember a couple of years ago, there, when they, uh, cloned that sheep? Remember reading about that?
Jim: Yeah.
Norm: Yeah, well, tonight we're, uh, teaching it how to drive a car.

Kim: Excuse me, are you Norm Henderson?
Norm: Oh, yes, I am. Are you?

Kim: Would you like to go out Friday night?
Norm: Oh my God, I would love to go out Friday night, that would be great. Yeah. Hey, listen, since I'm going out Friday night, would you go with me?

Norm: Don't you realize that the truth is for children and people who don't want to have sex?

Shelly: There's that water guy you said was cute.
Laurie: No, I never said he was cute. I said he would look cute wearing nothing but my hands.

Danny: Is it weird that a seminar on battered husbands made me hungry? Maybe it was the word "battered."

Norm: If there's two things I know about women, one, they like orgasms, two, they like orgasms in a house.

Laurie: I'm not like you, Norm, y'see you don't consider the consequences of the things that you do.
Norm: That's because I don't know what they are utnil they happen.

Artie: Remember what dad used to say, no matter how smart a girl is, she can't be that smart if she's dating you.

Norm: You should never lie to a woman. Trouble is, you should never tell them the truth either.
Danny: Hmm, it's a puzzler.
Norm: Yeah, but you know, Danny, when it comes right down to it, I don't think either one of us wants a woman who doesn't love us for who we truly are. Problem is, isthat kind of woman is what psychiatrists would refer to as a figment of our imagination.

Norm: Your feet are cold!
Mr. Denby: I have no circulation below my knees.

Back to episode info