Quotes from Secret Crush

Shelly: So, are you seeing anyone?
Norm: Ah, no, no...
Shelly: Oh, I am.
Norm: Me too.

Danny: Did you know that there's a rule that you're supposed to spend three months salary? I'd like to meet the bitch who came up with that.

Danny: I'm so nervous, I mean, what if she doesn't say yes?
Norm: Aw, that's ridiculous, of course she'll say yes. Hey, just to be on the safe side, why don't you kill every other man on earth.

Norm: Maybe it's wrong to read Shelly's journal.
Laurie: Yeah, so you're not gonna read it.
Norm: I'm gonna read it, I'm just saying it's probably wrong.

Danny: Look at you, Artie, tending bar. I'm so proud of you.
Artie: Yeah, I'll tell ya, it's a lot like being a psychiatrist. The only difference is I have alcohol so I actually help people.

Shelly: Someone in the office has a secret crush on Norm.
Denby: Well, it better not be that heavy-set woman in accounting with the muscular arms. She's mine.

Norm: Danny's gonna ask Taylor to marry him and all Taylor can think about is riding a painted pony on the old Normy-go-round.

Laurie: Taylor, I don't mean to judge you, but these feelings that you're having are very very stupid.

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