Quotes from Taylor Leaves

Norm: It's not what it looks like, Danny. I don't know what you were thinking, but what actually happened is I got something in my eye and Taylor was trying to help me get it out with... with her breasts.

Norm: No wonder Taylor's breasts smelled like kibble.

Shelly: Norm, you have to stop falling asleep at work. Even the crazy clients know what snoring means.

Norm to Wiener Dog: Don't sass me. Please don't sass me.

Landlady re Shelly: Who said the albino could talk?

Denby: You forget I was married for thirty years. I know an electric dog collar when I see one.

Denby: I'm old, I'm weak and I have to hold my organs in with a man-girdle!

Norm: Danny, I can't argue with you if you're gonna say things that I didn't plan for you to say.

Danny: Do you really think I'll find another girl?
Norm: Of course you will, man, you're a great guy.
Danny: Yeah? What's so great about me?
Norm: What's so great about you? Hundreds of things.
Danny: Name a hundred things that are great about me.
Norm: Well, uh... hey! I know what's better, even better than that is naming five things. I'll tell you, I'll tell you four things that're good about you... three things that're good about you....

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